St. Ignatius had a set of steps that enabled his followers to become closer to Jesus. One of them stood out to me as an interactive journey I could take—I would walk with Jesus through the Gospel of John as if I were there, using all five senses—sight, smell, touch, hearing, taste.

The Beginning

It’s hot out here. The wind barely murmurs against my legs and the dust has clambered onto my toes like hoards of tiny spiders.

A man walks by. There’s something different about him—is it the way he holds his head? He looks up and catches my eyes. I am instantaneously struck with tears. No one has ever looked at me that way, this way that hooks my heart—I cannot breathe.

His smile reaches around me and the world slows for a minute. This man is the only one . . . the only one . . .

What am I looking for? Something in him pulls me forward. I want to be at his side. I feel life, hope, meaning. There is more . . . oh for the words of mortal man to describe . . .

Who can I tell? Who can I bring to the feet of this man? I can blubber about him, but I would sound like a fool. They must come into his presence.

There is something . . . there is more than just this man here.

He turns to me. “Your name—princess, queen—is perfect.” He sees me. He knows me. It makes no sense. Who am I? But when he says it I just know—I am who he says I am.