I have a friend who did something that hurt me about ten years ago. She’s not that close of a friend anymore, and it’s not because of what she did; it’s because she can’t let it go. Every time she sees me, she brings up “the thing,” as if her focus on it will somehow prove how bad she feels about it.
I wonder if that’s all she’s going to keep bringing to the friendship–something that gives no life.
It’s like bringing gone-off steak to a meal and saying Hey, I know we’re about to sit down to an amazing dinner, but let me put this in front of you instead because this is what we ate one time and I want you to remember how bad it tasted. No thanks. Let me enjoy what we’re about to eat right now, because I know it’s going to be good.
It’s ten years on. My friend has grown in so many ways into her true self. But she can’t enjoy it because all she sees when we get together is that one thing she thinks marks her as inadequate. And only she has the power to put that replay button away and start making new movies based on who she is today.
Just like us.
Let’s focus on what brings life rather than keep digging up dead bodies and spreading the stink everywhere.
(And yes, I’ve told her how I feel. Me not saying what I think is like it not raining in Seattle.)
